Food of the Gods, a How-To Guide

 

“He was suddenly taken with a vision of wildly growing chicks. He conceived a picture of coops and runs, outsize and still more outsize coops, and runs progressively larger.” —“The Food of the Gods and How It Came to Earth” by H.G. Wells

First thing’s containment. Erect coops as big as stadiums and high-fenced boulevard runs. Populate with apple trees and giant slugs. A suitable niche yields plentiful produce; order new machines that butcher big and rounded forklifts for the giant eggs. Colossal chicks hike workplace accident rates— for your safety, mind the spur! Mangled limbs and maulings haunt many an erstwhile amateur. Unfit for titanic agriculture? Consider peril tourism. Lost World Management for Dummies elucidates good adventure hunting sanctuary governance. Use only as directed. Integrity suffers as mass multiplies. Mammoth hens will collapse at a yet unknown magnitude. We know six-times wings to be unflappable; brief flight, thankfully, unachievable.