Cover Letter

A graceful arrangement of the baubles of your enthusiasm.

Why you matter, retail. An explanation of how

you were gingerbreaded from the dough of their firm at birth.

Your motto is avoidio missteppus. Your interest in grammar

grows abnormally. You long for font synergy.

Your other motto is Chuck Norris does not apply for jobs;

jobs apply for Chuck Norris. You’re ridic. In take two, you simmer

your illustrious history into six slick bullet points. Later,

you cut the least glimmering facet. Autocorrect will react

like a crisis counsellor. The person you are describing

is awesome, you realize, or pathological. Your draft reflects you

the way a can of Diet Coke does. You delete If I were a question,

I would be burning because it is an awkward topic sentence.

In draft three, you shift the Most Polished Paragraph

into The Power Position. It is above you. You count to ten.

You mamabird your rebuttals into the beaks

of their tacit objections. You pour in “professional register”

as if from a tap of weak beer. Sincerely, you write, sincerely. Sincerely …