ISSUE 21: SPRING 2013

They Arrived On Valentine’s Day

[tab10]I cannot accord sympathy to those[/tab10] [tab10]who do not recognize the human crisis.[/tab10] [tab15]—Jack Spicer[/tab15]
Little men from space are the size we imagine them to be because if they’re quite small they’ll take up less space (in there, perhaps going farther out there) thus saving their alien bosses’ interplanetary gas money & other essential expenses. Quarters are undoubtedly cramped & with all that gravity-free free floating there there probably isn’t much worthwhile fucking going on especially since after all they’re only little men who can’t help missing their little women. In fact by the time they get here they feel like cats on long car trips— angsty if not downright pissed-off & vengeful more than ready to barf venomous flaming non-biodegradable intergalactic effluents on what’s left of the upholstery & completely unimpressed by our symphonies.