Maturity

We speak of growth as a process
that comes to completion
but my dreads grow daily.
Everyone tells you when you’re young to
stay outta grown folks’ business,
but no one tells you when you are grown folks;
they just expect you to know what to do,
and I don’t, and my dread grows.
Looking grown and being grown
are not the same, just like looking okay
and being okay are not the same, and
no one tells you how to ask or
who actually cares when they ask you, just like
people don’t tell you when you’re merely
tolerated; they just treat you like it,
and I realize it, and my dread grows.
Another day the sky has not cracked
and another dread grows.
My dreads grow daily and they only get darker;
they only get longer; they fill my head
and catch the fears that flake out.
We tell so many coming-of-age stories,
but no one dares to mention
what age is coming: I see more wars,
more scars, less stars
and more dread.