Two Games by Nadia Shammas

ITERATION IS A FORM OF RITUAL.

When I was young, I began writing as a way to understand the world around me. I would write the worst feelings or experiences back to myself, in order to make concrete and create a thread to follow in a life that seemed randomly cruel and too complicated to comprehend. The magic that made me fall in love with writing and all other art forms was the spark of recognition, of feeling that the creators had given form to something within me I could not have expressed. The intimacy of this, my experience of their work and my desire to make work in response, it was the only way I was sure I was human. It was the only connection that felt real. This is the heart of why I love working specifically in mediums which require collaboration - comics and video games. A shared creation is a shared reality…and I’ve never had an idea not made better by someone else.

In 2023, at an Anishinaabe-led mourning space in solidarity with Palestinians during the early days of the Gazan genocide, I expressed the feeling of unreality that seemed to have taken over my life. It seemed as if I was alone in the Pain Dimension, carrying weight invisible to the world which continued around me. For better or worse, I said, there is relief in knowing that I was not the only inhabitant of this dimension - indeed, each of us in the room were there, sharing it together. Invisible no longer.

Now, I believe that the Pain Dimension is the same as the dimension born when art is made, shared, and experienced. Every work is unfinished until it is experienced, as the audience or participant on the other side fills in the gaps. Through their taking on your work, a new reality is born, one shared between creator and recipient…it’s as sacred to me as anything else.

Thus, I invite you to engage in these two unfinished games, the first I ever attempted to make, and the most recent I’m currently iterating on at the moment. I ask that if you do, and feel so moved, that you share your experience with me, and email me at [email protected].

Thank you for making this real with me.

Nadia

In 2021, I was awaiting the release of my debut graphic novel, SQUIRE - I had also recently moved to Canada in the middle of the global Covid pandemic lockdown. In the May of the same year, Zionist settlers, the Israeli Supreme Court, and the Israeli occupying forces were collaborating in brutalizing and illegally expelling Palestinians from the Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood in East Jerusalem. The escalations coincided with both the holy Muslim holiday of Qadr Night and also “Jerusalem Day,” an Israeli holiday celebrating the illegal and ongoing occupation of East Jerusalem as of 1967.

I have not visited the three-story building my grandfather built with the intention for our family and his storefront to be there for generations. I knew, in fact, that my mother’s first memory of childhood was hiding in the basement with my grandmother during the Six Day War, and later standing on the roof with my grandfather, bringing him bullets she collected. It still stands, and as is the case, every year as settlers encroach and the world stands in silence, I wonder if I will ever be able to return before it's already lost. As a storyteller, I realized that the story of those six days would be lost as well if I did not preserve it. 

Why specifically as a game? Since this was my first attempt, it felt like the topic, my closeness with my grandmother, would make the experience in a new medium less foreign. The deeper truth of it though is that I realized that in playing games, you embody many different situations, bodies, emotions. When has anyone been purposefully made to embody, then, a Palestinian woman? You may have heard us, or seen us - I wanted to make you become us.

By June 2024, I had experienced my first “dream game gig” which had left me destroyed after burnout and crunch and laid off two months before the game itself had launched. I had experienced the release of SQUIRE, alongside the high of industry and award-recognition followed by the crushing silence from peers and jobs alike in the aftermath of October 7th, 2023. I thought I had known alienation before that, being an Arab child living in Brooklyn during and after 9/11 - I was wrong. If art had been my way of connecting with others, if words were my everything and now every word seemed to fail me in the totality of my grief…how would I find it in myself to create anything ever again?

Things changed when I attended the Wayward Retreat on Quadra Island, a small art residency without internet or phone service, and was forced to sit with my present reality with no distractions. There was, on the island, a family of ravens which I immediately became obsessed with. I loved their calls, their dark shadows, the understanding in their eyes. As part of the retreat, I came up with this game alongside one of the retreat facilitators to share with my other artists-in-residence during our last night. I was inspired by my beloved ravens, but also by something I had realized about the limitations of language: it is so difficult to find the “right words.” There are things beyond description, most often the most intimate and painful.

Ultimately, this game and/or ritual exists as a conduit for communication, to get to know one another by taking on different skins - a way to approach revealing and sharing interiorities without the barrier of shame or over-explanation.

THE RAVEN GAME is best played with each player knowing as little as possible about each other’s rules and roles until Active Play, which occurs in two phases - preparing for the ritual, and the ritual itself. Mystery and surprises lead to the most interesting results!

WHAT IS NEEDED FOR PLAY:

• A surface where two players or groups may sit across from one another

• A candle, bell, or small light (in order to differentiate phases of play). Lighting the candle, ringing the bell, or turning off the lights and engaging a phone light all work as a means to end phase one and begin phase two: the ritual.

• Any strip of fabric, as if to be used for a blindfold

• Pen(s) and paper (for the Human player(s)

• Both Human(s) and Raven(s) will be using items which must remain hidden from the other player. Thus, you will need a tablecloth (if using table), box, or bag for each active player.

PHASE ONE: GATHERING
This phase incorporates game set-up.

• Choose a surface or a place where two players can sit facing one another. Place your instrument of ritual on the table between you.

• Decide who will be The Raven, and who will be The Human. Each has their own instructions.

• Separate, read your instructions, and return to the table when you are finished collecting your ritual items.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE RAVEN

It has happened to you before - stumbling from the dark this mortal comes, primitive sounds stuttering from ungraceful, fleshy beaks. For charity, or for novelty, you reply to their call.

The Human appears with a request, statement, or question. This kernel of vulnerability is their offering to you.

As the Raven, your fluidity of language far surpasses that of a mortal…you simply do not speak the same tongue. However, there have always been ways to bridge a language gap.

• Collect items from around you, without revealing what they are to the other player(s): these found items may be anything, but it is recommended...they be in theme with whichever Raven you are--that is, whatever objects your magpie corvid heart desires/covets, be it sticks, flowers...colourful post-it notes, etc. You will use these items to communicate your responses to the words placed before you by the Human(s)." Keep these items hidden until it is time to present them during The Ritual Phase.

• Your strip of fabric will be used at the beginning of the Ritual, indicating you “appearing” as The Raven. When the ritual begins, tie your fabric so that it covers your mouth. This is the physical representation of both your arrival as the Raven and emphasizes your non-verbal method of communication. You may optionally decorate your strip of fabric with a beak.

• You may respond to the Human after they ask their question in the form of any of your collected items, silent movement, no response, or a combination of movement and object.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE HUMAN

Seeking knowledge, you call for something ancient. You may ask one question of this god, and thus, must choose your words carefully.

You may choose up to two words in each group/category below to formulate a question or statement to present to the Raven. You are not required to use words from every group. Write down your selection however you wish, whether you’d like to write each word on its own individual scrap of paper, or the entire statement on one piece or phone notepad. Whatever you write, keep hidden until it is time to present the words you’ve gathered during The Ritual Phase.

GROUP ONE: I / We / You / Will / Who / Where / How / What / Can / Can’t / They / Won't

GROUP TWO: Am / Is / Be / Was / Were / Fear / Are / Want / Eat / Find / Seek / Avoid / Covet

GROUP THREE: Death / Happy / Happiness /More / Love / Peace / Live / Life / Truth / Knowing

GROUP FOUR: Pain / Home / Success / Anger / Hate / Lie / Burn / Dream / Hunger / Sex

PHASE TWO: THE RITUAL PHASE

• When both parties have finished Their Gathering Phases, return and take your places across from one another.

• When the Human is ready to begin the Ritual, use your Ritual tool…light the candle, ring the bell, turn off the lights and use a phone light instead.

• The Raven will don their beak. Once they have done so, the Human may present their query in the offering of words.

• The Raven will present their response.

• There is no time limit. The Raven has however long the Human decides to keep the ritual going. Humans may re-arrange their chosen words to present new questions or responses.

• When the Human has exhausted their words, or when the ritual reaches a natural conclusion, the Human indicates the end of play using the Ritual tool once more…snuffing the candle, ringing the bell, and so on.

NOTE: If intended for a party or group, you may pre-collect the Raven’s communication/ritual objects, allow all “Ravens” to team up and make a collective pile, or allow participants individual time to collect and return for Phase Two.