"SPUYTEN DUYVIL" and "BING CHILLING"

SPUYTEN DUYVIL


He can’t help it, being a shitty sulking poet

hung like a roast duck

(“One never goes to Chinatown”)

Emily Dickinson, my biggest cheerleader

always at my window screaming

“Tell it, slant!!!”

BING CHILLING

Pale children respect elders                                                    (South Park w/ Chinese characteristics)
  
Human girl gets Azn nerd                                                   (John Hughes w/ Chinese characteristics)

Sleep same room as family of 8                                              (Prom night w/ Chinese characteristics)

Hotpot steam on cold day                                                (Papal conclave w/ Chinese characteristics)

Slick Willie & Tricky Dick walk into a bar                                       (Joke w/ Chinese characteristics)

Fit snugly alongside mute shark                                              (Censorship w/ Chinese characteristics)

Replica of Dutch palace & pissing mermaid                          (Colonialism w/ Chinese characteristics)

Attractive foreign sailors playing soccer                            (Sportsmanship w/ Chinese characteristics)

First stop: Chinatown noodle shop                                   (Overseas travel w/ Chinese characteristics)

Reanimate dodo in gilded nest colosseum                         (Exceptionalism w/ Chinese characteristics)

Sole outstanding candidate                                                     (Democracy w/ Chinese characteristics)

Feed live chickens to tigers from coach bus                         (Press freedom w/ Chinese characteristics)

Build camps in Xinjiang—like Yellowstone!                (Land management w/ Chinese characteristics)

One-China policy                                                                         (History w/ Chinese characteristics)

One in each colour                                                                     (Shopping w/ Chinese characteristics)

7-day workweek                                                                          (Self-care w/ Chinese characteristics)

Bitter melon juice I drink myself                                               (Loneliness w/ Chinese characteristics)

⭑                                                                                                                                                     ⭑