Final Boy Dreams of Being a Crop-Top in a Slasher

a number 10 / on a chest / a Johnny Depp chest / that will soon stop moving

Final Boy Dreams of Being a Crop-Top in a Slasher

a number 10 / on a chest / a Johnny Depp chest / that will soon stop moving / no breath in or out / there will be blood / the kind of blood that’s so over the top / you let out a laugh / then a scream / the beauty of youth / of boyishness / of cockiness / something that makes you / love and hate everything / about being a boy / about loving boys / though he won’t survive / no one in a crop-top is final / or maybe it’s Ron Grady / another of Freddy’s boys / that skin / plenty of skin / shorts and shirt / barely meet / then off / lots of off / field / locker room / bedroom / two boys / hand over mouth / Jesse on Ron / to be the top to crop the skin that is a boy who is moments away from an end but doesn’t know it / but you were never that boy / were you? / never as beautiful / never as cocky / as the one you dreamed of / like a hand grazing that perfect space / between




Final Boy Remembers Babysitters

KFC / earliest memory / a woman from church / Quakers / you were Quakers then / meeting house / not church / old / she was old / you don’t know if that’s true / you / maybe two / maybe three / memories you aren’t supposed to have / her babysitting you / KFC for dinner / could you even eat that? / kitchen chairs / yellow / the colour yellow / which is how you think of everything from then / the 1980s dipped in yellow / a memory / you didn’t have many babysitters / one sister / 5 years older / fell to her / people cared less / kids on their own / kids watching kids / then the couple / old again / across the street / watched your little sister and you / after school / while your mother took nursing classes / straight A’s / babysitters / nurses / common in horror / real and fake / like Richard Speck / all those dead nurses in Chicago / the 1960s / this couple / watched you / fed you / ice cream / in cones / with jelly on top / here try it, they said / you did / as you watched DuckTales / premiering in 1987 / old enough to remember / to dream of baby / sitters / no teenage girls / why never boys / gender again / and again / this too you remember /






Final Boy as Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode in Halloween

as in an outsider / with friends / books in arms / knowing all the answers / not sexually active / just like you / in high school / the only queer boy / not even out then / all pretend / make believe / it was the ‘90s / in Indiana / after all / as in born the same day / different year / November 22nd / the day JFK was shot / in Dallas / Curtis ’58 / you ’82 / first starring role / Halloween / your favorite holiday / as in Curtis bought Laurie Strode’s clothes at J.C. Penney / for less than $100 / just like your mother took you to J.C. Penney / for school clothes / less than $100 / how you hid in the rack / made her search for you / lost / but not / how mad she was / boys being boys / as in the film was shot out of order / as in Curtis was given a fear meter to determine how scared she should be in each scene / like the terror alert system after 9/11 / yellow / orange / red / or your own anxiety rushing up your chest / how high today? / as in Curtis’s mother was the original scream queen / Janet Leigh / Psycho / which makes you think of Anthony Perkins / that speedo photo / you found on the internet / a queer coded villain / Hitchcock’s favourite trick / but Michael is different / emotionless / mask / little movement / no speaking / called “The Shape” in the original script / a term taken from the Salem Witch Trials / a way to distinguish the person from their evil acts / like an apparition / a boogeyman / a part of you / but not you / something to kill / yet you know / like Laurie knows / like Curtis knows / it will never really die

About the author

Stephen S. Mills (he/they) is the author of the Lambda Award-winning book He Do the Gay Man in Different Voices (2012) as well as A History of the Unmarried (2014) and Not Everything Thrown Starts a Revolution (2018) all from Sibling Rivalry Press. His work has appeared in The American Poetry Review, Columbia Poetry Review, Fourteen Poems, The New York Quarterly, The Los Angeles Review, The Rumpus, and others. Two of his books were placed on the Over the Rainbow List compiled yearly by the American Library Association. He is also the author of the plays Waiting for Manilow and Is That All There Is? His fourth book Final Slash Boy is forthcoming from Broken Sleep Books. He lives in New York City.