Cut to Exist

I song my history each morning

I song my history each morning
say: Not today, cut off my head, carry it in my hand


My song exists, the sword exists, my comb exists: my people still exist
My history exists, by reason of revolution—revolution: oh yes, still exists
Ten teachers and an eleventh: 31 single and 29 mishrit raags exist: a book we put to bed
Exists: steel circling wrists, sweet nectar on our tongues, five rivers flowing
Baba Deep Singh, Mai Bhago, Guru Nanak Dev ji: all exist
Each morning my people: we love, fight and we persist

at dawn, I undream birdsong


Not today, I’m still standing: heads cut off, we’re still standing: bricked into walls, still
Standing: half of me is woman, half of me is war
I cut off my head: bring it closer to my heart
Man, my mind, Preet, my love: you will not be polluted
I cut off my head: taste five rivers: today we exist
I cut off my head: carry it like a baby: today we exist
I’ve seen it done before: I cut off my head: I know we will persist

each morning, I song my history

Plant a sword that can be harvested and grow survival
1984: my people still exist
1947: my people still exist
1919: my people still exist
1705, 1746, 1762: my people
1699: my people, we exist
Ancestors crown my head, covered or not: our freedom unearthing
Language: unearthing freedom: how our rivered tongues persist

into wake

Ik onkar, Satnaam: my people still exist
Karta purakh, Nirbhau nirvair: my people still exist
Akaal moorat, Ajooni saibhan, Gur prasaad, Jap: my people still exist
Aadh sach, Jugaad sach, Hai bhi sach: truthfully, my people—we exist
Nanak hosi bhi sach: and truthfully, we will persist

Each morning say: not today, cut off my head and lullaby my fractioned
History, carry it in my hands until sung on golden land

About the author

Preeti Kaur Dhaliwal (she/her) is a critical race feminist, writer, former lawyer, child of immigrants, educator and facilitator who lives on the unceded traditional, present and future territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. She holds an MFA from the University of Guelph and her work has appeared in PRISM International, TNQ, The Fiddlehead, Canadian Notes & Queries, The Humber Literary Review, Looseleaf, Held Magazine, and several other publications. Her writing tends to cover themes of grief, race, love, power, prayer, diasporic Punjabi life, sexuality and touch. She’s currently submitting her poetry manuscript to publishers and returning to work on a lyric novella. Alongside writing, Preeti has 20 years of facilitation and teaching experience and is committed to arts-based methodologies as a source of personal and collective empowerment, transformation and community-building. She firmly believes that stories change the world by altering our ways of seeing, feeling and being with one another and the planet. Learn more @jadooberry / @write.with.preeti or https://linktr.ee/Jadooberry.